What Women Want

October 28, 2010 by Guest Blogger  

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So on Saturday I happened to come across DJ Sbu’s show on Metro with his ever-present side-kick, Trevor Madondo. The topic was, “What Do Women Want?” They thought they could get understand a woman’s mind by wearing pantyhose and painting their nails red. Heheheh! Cute attempt Sbu and Trev, but pantyhose and nail polish do not a woman make. In fact, I know very few women who still wear pantyhose. The whole segment, however, was entertaining and hopefully these vandals got to understand, even just a little, the complexity of being a woman.
Back to the whole point of attempting to answer the age old question: What do women want? I wish I could answer this question for all the straight men out there, but even I, as a woman, don’t know what women want. In my Diva opinion what women want is determined by the time of the month or period in their life. Seriously. One of the major women’s magazines did an experiment where over a thousand women were asked to design the physique of their ideal man. At the beginning most of the women designed a man with soft, feminine features. Everyday the women could log on and change whatever they wanted on their “ideal man.” The researchers found that with each woman, the closer she got to her menstrual period, she would give her “ideal” stronger features making him look more and more masculine by the day. They concluded that when our hormones are high, we are more attracted to “manly” men. Testosterone baby!
The point of the story is women are complex, emotional beings. Hormones do affect what we want amongst many other factors. Therefore, I always tell my guy friends, “Never try to understand women cos women don’t even understand themselves!”
All women are unique and want different things. You won’t know from just one woman what ALL women want.  For example, I have a friend who wants to have sex only once a month (twice at the most), while I want to have sex at least five times a week when I’m in a relationship. Therefore, for me, it is important that I be sexually attracted to my man.
Talking about a man a woman wants, I do believe all women have or have had `The List.’ This is the list of what a woman wants in a man. In my late teens/early twenties I had a very specific  list and then I fell head over heels with a man who was everything that was not on the list, but so much more than I could ever dream of. Therefore, my list has now changed. This means, what I want, as a woman, has also changed. Additionally, maturity has also influenced ‘The List.’ What was important to me back in University is not necessarily important to me now. I’ve experienced more things in life which have influenced what I want.
Personally I want a masculine man dripping with testosterone. In the words of Marilyn Monroe, I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I get to be a woman in it. I don’t want to share chores in the house. I’ll cook and clean with no problems because I don’t want to share cutting the grass or taking out the trash. They don’t go well with my manicured nails.
This is my current list of what I want as a woman.

1. I have a very strong character and I want a man who will be as strong as or even stronger than me so he will challenge me intellectually and otherwise. I don’t want a wuss who will agree with everything I say or do.
2. I want a man who takes care of his body so I can feel his physical strength when he holds me in his arms or lifts me up against the wall…
3. I want an ambitious man who does not settle for mediocrity and who challenges me to better than I think I can be.
4. I want a man who is my friend first before my lover. Someone I can talk to about absolutely everything and anything without ever feeling stupid or judged. Someone I can cry in front of or be weak and know that he’ll be strong for me.
5. I want a man I can go partying with all night and also sit at home the whole day in silence and still be having fun.
6. I want a man who will have my back and protect me in every way that he can. A man who will stand up for me whether I’m there or not.
7. I want a man who believes in me and supports my dreams, goals, and aspirations.
8. I want a man who can pray with me and pray for me.
9. I want a man who will not fight for the mirror with me. He must take care of himself, but I don’t want to be booking ‘his & hers’ manicures. No thanks. I have my girlfriends and gays for that.
10. I want a man who is financially smart because I have a tendency to abuse money. Don’t judge, I really love shoes! Lol!
11. I want a man who will spoil me on a regular day. Not because it’s my birthday and not because he’s done something wrong. Just because he loves me and he appreciates me.
12. I want to be treated like a Queen because I treat my man like he is a King.
13. I want a man to respect me, my beliefs and my opinions.
14. I want a man who does not smoke cigarettes and definitely no drugs! Deal breaker. Non-negotiable.
15. I want a man who knows what an off-side is and knows all the players of Bafana Bafana. Not that I care much about soccer, but I want a man who loves and is passionate more about sports than the latest fashion trends.
16. I want a man who loves and respects his Mother. For me, that is a reflection of what he thinks about women in general and how he will treat me.
17. I want a man who is willing to listen to me. I am very opinionated and I tend to talk a lot. At the same time, I want a man who is not afraid to share his thoughts with me.
18. I want a man who has his own friends, and has his own life outside of our relationship.
19. I want a man who makes me laugh and we can be silly with.
20. I want a man who will love me at my worst, who thinks I’m the most beautiful woman when I wake up in the morning. A man who will love me flaws and all because, in my Diva opinion, I am the most flawed woman I know…

So, women, tell us, what do you want?