Saturday, 19 May 2012

5 signs your relationship is over


Do you feel like you're stuck in a relationship rut but aren't sure whether things will ever change? It's normal for relationships to hit the odd rocky patch, but if you experience three or more of the signs below and 'the chat' hasn't resolved anything, it's often a sign that the fat lady has sung and Elvis has well and truly left the building. In other words, it's over
Do you feel like you're stuck in a relationship rut but aren't sure whether things will ever change? …

Sign that it could be over 1: Incompatible goals for the future

They say that opposites attract, but when you want children and your other half panics at the mere mention of parenthood, or your partner wants to immigrate to another country and you want to stay put, this kind of opposition can cause a problem. Whilst it's possible to work through such mis-matched goals and reach a fair agreement that both parties are happy with, sometimes it's hard to do that without thwarting your – or your partner's – dreams. Perhaps the most unhealthy thing you could do to your relationship at this point is try to persuade one another to sacrifice future plans in order for you to stay together. Not only is this selfish, but more often than not it leads to feelings of resentment between you and your other half, which often results in a break-up anyway. If there's no compromise and you feel as though your plans for the future are being jeopardised, it's probably best to part ways for the sake of your freedom and happiness.

Sign that it could be over 2: Sneaking around

The key to a great relationship is honesty and trust, so if your partner is sneaking around then it defeats the object of being in an intimate relationship and you need to tackle the problem head on. Go about it carefully though; following him/her into town to 'catch them in the act' only to find that they were purchasing your surprise birthday present could lead to all sorts of complications, and you don't want to risk being the embarrassed guilty party. Instead, it's a good idea to communicate with a secretive partner to make it clear that you've noticed they're up to something and you're offended that they couldn't talk to you about it. If you still feel like your other half is up to something, it might be a good idea to call it a day on your relationship as the trust barrier has clearly been broken.

Unhappy couple after an argumentUnhappy couple after an argument

Sign that it could be over 3: No special gestures

After weeks or months of being wooed by your other half in the early stages of a relationship, when the dust begins to settle it can feel as though Cupid has disappeared off the face of the earth and suddenly you're stuck in a relationship rut. We're not expecting to be swept off our feet and taken away to an exotic island to be showered in expensive gifts, but many couples often lose sight of the small romantic gestures that make the relationship feel that bit more special. If special gestures are sparse in your romance, this by no means suggests that it's over; you may just need to make a little more effort to be romantic – suggest more things to do together and the problem should be resolved in no time. However, if after a conversation you realise that all romantic gestures have stopped because you no longer feel as strongly for your partner as you once did, this is a sign that your relationship should come to an end.

Sign that it could be over 4: You can't seem to leave the past in the past

Relationships where the past can't seem to be left where it belongs are often a recipe for disaster. If you're having an argument, respond appropriately to what is happening here and now, not what happened six weeks ago. Granted – past issues can cause an underlying problem in the relationship if they are never spoken about, but once a problem has been addressed it's time to move on from it. It's a common deal-breaker in relationships to keep bringing up past issues during an argument to use as ammunition against your other half. If you can't learn to forgive and forget – or your partner can't learn to forgive and forget a mistake that you have made – then it might be time to cut all ties and start afresh.

Sign that it could be over 5: You're constantly bickering

Arguing is a natural way to get things off your chest and emphasise what's upsetting or annoying you to improve your relationship in the long-run, but when things have soured to the point that you spend more of your time arguing than not, it's often time to raise the red flag. Healthy relationships are about having good conversations and being happy when you're around your other half, not constantly being surrounded by negativity and feeling angry or upset. Don't be tempted to stick together when all you do is fight; as easy as this is to do, you will end up feeling even more miserable in the long run.

Thursday, 17 May 2012

7 surprising sex facts


What you should know about sex, but don’t

We all do it, or at least want to be doing it, but do you know everything you need to? Even if you consider yourself to be a Karma Sutra king or queen, sex is a deep and complex subject and, quite frankly, there’s bound to be something you haven’t yet discovered. So, let’s talk sex: 

Sex is good for you

According to male legend Arnold Schwarzenegger ‘The best activities for your health are humping and pumping’. In many ways this is true; safe sex does have lots of health benefits. Those who have sex once or twice a week have been shown to have higher levels of immunoglobulin A or IgA, an antibody which helps protect you from respiratory diseases like the cold and flu. Also researchers have found that men in their 20s who had five or more ejaculations per week were one third less likely to develop prostate cancer in later life. It would seem Mr Schwarzenegger is on to something.

Get more sex

Everyone wants more sex and we know how you can get it. Dr Helen Fisher, biological anthropologist at Rutgers University explains that ‘People fall in love when dopamine levels rise in their brains”. This is the neurotransmitter that controls the brain’s reward and pleasure centres. You can only get more dopamine by doing two things. The first is to have more sex. The second is to recreate a rush of dopamine by doing an exciting activity, such as bungee jumping, flying in a helicopter or even doing something simple like climbing a tree. Once you have raised your partner’s levels of dopamine, they will want to have sex with you more. 

Sex o’clock

When we think of having a romantic encounter with that special someone, we often think of moonlight hitting silk sheets or candles flickering in a seductive, half-lit room. However, our bodies may be more attuned to having sex in the morning. Men’s testosterone levels peak in the morning and so men become more easily aroused at this time. Although many men wake up erect anyway, this does not actually mean they are sexually aroused – but what better way to start a day be it giving or receiving.

Who enjoys sex more?

When you’re under the covers, who is enjoying sex more; him or her? Interestingly this is not a new debate. In Ancient Greek mythology Hera complained to Zeus that he got more pleasure from their sex than she did. According to a new study, it is possible that Hera was telling the truth. Researchers at the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that nearly nine out of 10 young men reported having an orgasm most or all of the time they have sex with their partner.  However, less than half of young women experience orgasm that frequently when they have sex with their partner.

Rules of attraction

It is possible that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but rather in the nose of the beholder. We have sex because we have an innate instinct to reproduce.  Therefore we are attracted to certain people because they will produce a strong baby. We find out who will produce these strong babies through our noses. For example, when people sweat pheromones are released; revealing their type of immune system. If their immune system is the opposite to the person smelling them, the two will be a good match, and should find each other irresistible.

How to tell when she wants it

We all know women are hard to read, but there are several physical clues that can help you to know when a woman wants to have sex with you. Firstly, when a woman is aroused her pupils will dilate. If a woman sees a man who she likes when out, but does not know him, she will give him prolonged eye contact. Her lips will also purse and if you catch her repeatedly gazing at your lips then it is very likely that she wants you. However, if a woman crosses her legs or arms and repeatedly looks away from you, it’s time to leave.

We all had a clitoris

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to understand what it is like to be a member of the opposite sex? Once upon a time, it would seem we were not all that different from each other. In the first trimester of pregnancy, the fetus is gender neutral, being neither male nor female. However, the fetus has all the makings of a clitoris and vagina. It is not until eight to 12 weeks have passed that males become distinct.

7 ways to be a better kisser

7 ways to be a better kisser

How to kiss better

We’re going to do the one thing you should never do; kiss and tell! We’ve been testing out hundreds of kissing techniques and boy do we have a lot to tell you. Here are 7 of the best kissing tips that we can find that will make you a better kisser:


Once you’ve got your kissing technique nailed you may still find that the hot and steamy passion is still missing. Think about the rest of your body. Where are your hands? How close are you standing to the guy or girl you’re smooching? To turn up the heat bring your hips together, run your hands up their back, through their hair and, if you’re feeling brave, give their behind a little squeeze. Exploring whilst you kiss makes you seem confident, passionate and experienced.


As we all know the lips are highly sensitive and contain lots of nerve endings. They are in fact your most exposed erogenous zone, which means that like every other part of your body you should take care of them. To get the perfect pout, make sure you exfoliate your lips. Use an olive oil and sugar mixture. Put the mixture onto your toothbrush and run it in circles over your lips. Rinse off and apply a lip balm to get luscious, kissable lips.

Kiss O’Clock

Life can sometimes whizz by at a 100mph and before you know it your tucked up in bed again and have had a totally smooch-less day. Find time for kissing though as it shows your partner that you still have the hots for them. You could try to catch them by surprise and kiss their neck when they’re washing the dishes or choosing an outfit from their wardrobe. Make a conscious effort to kiss every day, without the final destination being sex.

Be a mirror

Okay, you’ve put in the ground work, only to find out that your date is a lousy kisser – what do you do? Try to work with them rather than ditching them at the first sign of trouble. At first be subtle and change your behaviour. If they are giving you too much tongue, pull back a little and make your mouth smaller. Take charge and change the kiss to make it enjoyable for you. If all else fails, give them some gentle pointers like, “I love slow kissing”.


Albert Einstein knew a lot, but one of the things we didn’t know he knew much about was romance. Yet Mr Einstein has a hot tip for us: “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves”. If you want to deliver a perfect kiss, you have to give it your full concentration. You can’t be thinking about what you might cook later, or your next project at work. Fully engage or don’t bother at all.

Go outside the box

Watch any movie with a hot kissing scene in and you’re sure to see a guy or girl who does not just kiss the other person’s lips; they kiss their neck, their face, their ears and their chest. Once you get more confidence in the lips department, try out other areas. If you’re in a long-term relationship kissing can get a bit predictable. There are only so many new moves you can try. To shake things up kiss your partner upside down – like Spiderman.

Take it slow

There is no bigger turn-off than a terrible kiss. To keep them keen, start off slow. Open your mouth a little and begin with small kisses. A good kiss builds, so don’t be shy if you feel like pulling back a little. Take time when you pull back to look into their eyes, flash them a seductive smile and brush their lips with yours. Once you’ve been kissing for a little while you can go in for longer smooches using a wider mouth. Feel free to add some tongue too if you fancy.

7 ways to boost your confidence in bed

How to improve your sexual confidence

Sex can be pretty daunting. If you’re not scared about getting your kit off, then there’s the small matter of your moves to consider, or the positions you like. Although sex can be scary, there are certain sex tips that will give your bedroom confidence a boost. Check these out:


Bedroom bloopers happen to everyone. Whether you hit your head, bite your tongue or make a weird noise, the best thing to do is not to ignore it, but to laugh about it.  Sex is not always sexy and you should expect something, at some point, to go wrong. Treating it in this light-hearted way will show that you are confident and mature. Even if something doesn’t go wrong, throwing your partner the odd smile is reassuring and makes you both feel close.
7 ways to boost your confidence in bed

Conquer a fear

If you want to be confident under the covers, you need to feel confident in yourself. Overcoming a fear is one of the easiest ways to boost your self-esteem. Choose something achievable and then work out a feasible way to reach your goal. Make sure you get people involved in your plan as this will make you stick to it. Ideally, the person you’re sleeping with is the best person you can choose to get involved in your challenge.

Stop having sex

If you stop making sex the main goal you might start to think about your naked body differently. Try to do more things naked, so that you and, if you have a guy or girl in your life, they will get used to seeing your naked body. Normalising nakedness will make you feel comfortable when you strip off. You could shower together, have a naked massage or even eat your dinners naked. Just remember to shut those curtains!


Props make sex fun and if you choose the right ones they can make you feel great in the bedroom. A naughty costume, some devious make-up or a blindfold can add a spice of sauciness to your love life and it will also give you a new persona. If you go in as Fireman Sam or Police Officer Polly, think of them as a confident, sex god/goddess. Use the act once or twice then switch back to being yourself - remember that you were that person all along.

Sharing is caring

Men and women feel insecure and at some point it’s likely that both you and your partner have felt uneasy when the lights go out. Bring up what has been troubling you when you are both alone, in a private place. Let each other speak. If your partner doesn’t seem to know what to say, don’t take this as a sign they don’t care, ask them what they think or feel about the situation. Try to come up with a solution or a plan together – something you both feel comfortable with.

Do the maths

We’re all insecure about some part of our body and most of the biggest hang-ups are to do with guy’s penises and women’s chests. Remember, though, the average size of a flaccid penis is between 2.5 inches and 5.5 inches, whilst the average bra size for women is between a C and a D cup. If you’re still not happy, for guys trim your hair downstairs; it will make you seem bigger. Girls, do chest exercises to improve the firmness, lift and shape of your breasts.

Switch focus

If you start to get nervous, or if you can’t stop thinking about how big your tummy must look from this angle, switch the focus. If you’re just kissing, don’t think about what will come next. Just concentrate on the thing you’re doing and try to enjoy it. If you’re having sex and the insecurities or nerves arise, don’t panic. Look your partner in the eye and concentrate on how good everything feels. Also think: if you’ve got to this stage then they must fancy you.

5 innocent items that will spice up your sex life

A tent will improve your sex life

We all know that vacation sex is incredible, but sadly not all of us can afford to jet across to our favourite destination every weekend just so we can enjoy some under the sheets fun. However, most of us can afford a tent. Although a tent doesn’t sound like the most romantic place to get it on, once inside you’re in a totally new environment. This should kick you and your partner out of any love rut that you’ve stumbled into. Plus, once you start getting intimate with one another you’ll be amazed how steamy it becomes inside. As the tent heats up you and your partner will become slick and slippery, which is perfect for a hot, fiery sex session.  And if you’re not a camping kind of person, why not just stick up the tent in your living room?  

A camera will improve your sex life

Although you may never openly admit it in polite company, everyone likes to send the odd naughty picture. However, most of us tend to use our phones to send them. To put some of the romance and surprise back into kinky snaps, buy a camera. When you use a camera there’s more chance that you’ll actually print off the pictures. Then once you’ve got your picture you can surprise your partner by popping it in an unexpected spot, like the person’s purse or on their mirror. The element of surprise will catch your guy or girl off guard and will turn them on so much more. When they next see you they’ll be desperate to get your clothes off. A camera is also good because they have lots of settings that will help you take a flattering shot.
Sexy long legs high heelsSexy long legs high heels

A motorbike will improve your sex life

Obviously, you’ll need to have the appropriate license before you jump onto a Harley, but a motorbike is a great item to consider if you want to really shake up your love life. Every man who rides a motorbike gets that macho, John Wayne feeling; whilst every woman loves the thrills and vibrations she receives from the bike. A motorbike will also give you both an incredible adrenaline rush. When your adrenaline levels rise your body becomes super sensitive and increases your ability to be aroused. This means that you’ll be more likely to have sex and when you do get it on your body will be much more responsive. If a motorbike isn’t for you, you can raise your adrenaline levels by riding a rollercoaster or exercising.    

Some salmon and dark chocolate will improve your sex life

Next time you’re shopping for food make sure you stack up on salmon and dark chocolate. In the world of food salmon is a sexual powerhouse and can do wonders for your sex drive. Not only is this tasty fish full of mood boosting Omega 3 oils, but the vitamins in salmon boost your libido. As well as bulking up your sex drive salmon can also increase the blood flow to your genitals, which makes them more sensitive. The next item that should go into your shopping bag is dark chocolate. This tasty treat contains the stimulant phenylethylamine – the love drug. Phenylethylamine quickens your heart and fools you into thinking you’re falling in love. Like salmon it also makes you more sensitive.

Heels will improve your sex life

If buying a lacy corset and a push-up bra is not your thing, but you still want to dress up a little to spice up your sex life, buy a pair of high heels. Wearing heels makes you feel more confident and this boost will make you feel more open in bed. You may even want to try some new positions. Not only do heels make you feel sexier, they make you look sexier too. High heeled shoes make your legs instantly look long and slender. To make the most of your new found legs, make sure you moisturize beforehand. You could even add some shimmer dust to give them an attractive sheen. Also buy a pair that flatters your skin tone. Read more on
Follow us on Facebook
7 ways to make sex more exciting
7 ways to boost your confidence in bed

7 ways to beat your worries

How to stop worrying, tip 1: Forget the things you can’t change

If you’re worrying about something that’s happened in the past, you need to stop. The power of your mind isn’t strong enough to solve problems through panic, so it’s important to beat your worries by thinking logically and tackling them head-on. Bad memories from the past are toxic to our health and highly counterproductive so you must bury the burdens of your past and move on.

How to stop worrying, tip 2: Write a worry list

Write down everything you’re worried about; the bills, your job, the car MOT – everything. Then rate them on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the things that are concerning you most. You can then turn your worry list into an action list. Take action on the worries that you rated the highest first, and then work through the rest of the list. You will feel a sense of relief each time you tick a worry off, and this is a sure-fire way to boost your happiness and relieve your worries.

How to stop worrying, tip 3: Discipline your thoughts

If you’re a chronic worrier, you need to learn to take control of your thoughts rather than letting them take control of you. To do this, every time you think a negative thought, you must turn it into a positive. Every time you worry, think “is this really helpful?” If the answer is no, turn the thought into a positive or forget it completely. Whilst this may seem difficult at first, it will eventually become second nature and you will find that turning a negative into a positive is a much more constructive way of dealing with your thoughts.

How to stop worrying, tip 4: Distract yourself through relaxation

When we’re worried – particularly about a number of things at once – our brains don’t tend to find a logical solution to our problems. In order to think logically, we must take the time to relax and unwind. Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. After a couple of minutes of relaxation, the tension will leave your body and you will be in a better position to tackle the problem from a fresh perspective.Woman relaxing in bath with candlesWoman relaxing in bath with candles

How to stop worrying, tip 5: Talk to friends and family

A problem shared is a problem halved. Talk to your family, your friends, or a doctor if you have a good relationship with them. Sometimes saying your problems out loud can get your thoughts straight in your head and if you’re worrying about something useless, saying it out loud can make you realise that it’s just not worth the worry. With those close to you, you can laugh, cry, and moan as much as you like without being judged and this is a healthy way to relieve stress.

How to stop worrying, tip 6: Confront the problem head-on

Some worries can’t be tamed through talking to others or relaxation. A problem that won’t go away until you physically do something about it needs to be confronted head-on. Sometimes, we have so much on our mind that we don’t know what to deal with first. Make a decision on which problem you want to solve and how you will go about it, and then stick to it. You will probably find that once you resolve the problem, you’ll wish you’d done something about it sooner.

How to stop worrying tip 7: Put things into perspective

Don’t be overwhelmed by small things; try and see the bigger picture. Is your problem really as bad as you’re making it out to be? The chances are there will be many people worse off than you. Instead of zoning in on certain things and panicking about them, put everything into perspective. Does this problem affect your entire life? Will you still be panicking about this in a few weeks or months time? If the answer is no, then it’s really not worth the worry.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Africa Fashion Week Kicks Off!

July 2, 2010 by  
Hastings Moeng attended the opening shows and here is his take on AFI!
As announced, the African Fashion Week kicked- off on 30th June and droves of bright-eyed and bushy-tailed fashionistaz turned up.
On arrival I was greeted by the sight and scent of affluence, anticipation and splendour. Shared a lift with Dr Precious Motsepe who was on her BB from entering the lift to arriving at the 5th floor …perhaps tweeting?? And before I knew it the current Miss World 2nd princess and Former Miss SA , Tatum Keshwar,  mushroomed from nowhere and suddenly the Sandton Convention Centre just got better.
You have to love us Africans though. With the event being the African Fashion Week held on African soil, the show had to embody truly African spirit and employ AFRICAN TIME.
While we waited  in the VIP area for the showcase to commence, there was an open bar and free whateversz doing the rounds. As you can expect, the Free BAR received massive attention and attendance. But subsided eventually.  That’s when I psyched my lone-some self to go get myself a drink and TJO the bartenders shamelessly ignored me. It got me thinking, “Who must I sleep with around here for some service?”, but kept my cool nonetheless. It’s called social etiquette.
Still on the VIP section. There was a VVIP within the VIP area. Heheheh… guess they are catching on to the reality that anyone and everyone can access VIP. Hope a certain former LIVE presenter is reading this. Kiki knows him. Tip* He loves telling journos that he is going to the Back to the VVIP.  It’s basically what VIP used to be when celebrities were still celebrities and not using public transport, E.X.C.L.U.S.I.V.E. spotted in there were the likes of Motsepe, the Booths.
Anyways back to the Fashion XULU BET was given the platform to officially open the show. Ok, first things first, I am not a designer thus am not in a position to use their jargon.  The collection was black but striking with material that appeared hard to work with. I am talking something that looked like leather and ama-shineshine (Dont ask me what this is). But the fact that it looked that great on the ramp shows that XULU BET can hold it down.
Fast-forward to the next shows.  SAKINA MSA….wow!  A beautiful collection boasting encouraged creativity and attesting that simplicity and sophistication can indeed bear a harmonious co-existence. In the same breath, ITUEN BASI didn’t disappoint at all. The collection had everyone in awe. The use of colour, cuts and design was a killer. One word to best describe it would have to be MAGIC.
The models killed the ramp for me. Avumile Qonqo and Nancy where among did a steller Job walking the walk. Mara ok…the award for RAMPTUDE (the right attitude on the ramp that’s sure to make one noticeable) goes to Tatum Keshwar.
Sinazo Pelisa Yolwa, of the A-List was also there is high spirits. Although this is her first break. you can easily dispute newbie-ness as there is nothing infant about her.
Sinazo Pelisa Yolwa
Another hot catch to lookout for is Miss Earth 2010 finalist, Nondy Dzingwa. A very promising young lady with incredible looks and substance to back it up. If she is anything to go by, I say Miss SA organisers better start scouting wherever Miss Earth is.
Nondy Dzingwa
Also caught up with TV Presenter/YFM Co-host Precious Kofi
Being a Johnny Walker, one could only stay for few shows. Imagine having to use Noord Taxi Rank in  a skinny Jean at night (Nogal!). Considering their history with miniskirts, I couldn’t take the risk. Phela I am told skinny jeans on guys is the equivalent of miniskirts on chix.
Keep it up AFI. Note to the designers showcasing later, the stakes are high and we simply refuse anything less.
By Hastings Moeng ©