20 Signs You’re Dating A Douchebag

 

20 Signs You’re Dating A Douchebag

October 25, 2011 by Dumi Gwebu  

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Here are the signs: 

1. His name starts with DJ.
2. He drives a car with a name that ends with the letter W *hides at Hyundai*
3. He owns Takeshy jeans. (And wears them with a Takeshy embelished T shirt, as a set) *vomits*
4. He owns all 3 Pirates jerseys (home, away and training) and wears them when you go out.
5. He’s got a Mohawk. If it’s dyed then he is a type A Douche.
6. If his shirt has more than one collar, he is a double douche. There is no other explanation.
7. He drinks Hennessy VSOP. (Douche No 1 drink)
8. He calls all his ex girlfriends and all women in general Bitches.
9. You only find Vodka and Chicken Licken hot wings in his fridge.
10. When you visit him, you drive over Witkoppen Rd. (I’m sorry but that’s Doucheland)
11. He owns a Louis Vuitton belt. (Fake of course)
12. He is more intimate with his Blackberry than he is with you. Always smiling at it, pressing it in the right places.
13. Although he is born and bred in Jozi, all his friends are Durbanites.
14. He is over 16 but owns an Ed Hardy T-shirt.
15. He is always wearing sunglasses. (Day, night, restaurants, clubs etc.)
16. He owns a Gucci man bag, also known as Douche Bag.
17. He still goes to ZAR. (Douche Academy)
18. He is a goalkeeper (It doesn’t get “Douchier” than that.)
19. He own a Spitz account aka Douche account. (Think abomakhothana)
20. He owns more than one Drake CD. (Douche music)

Don’t say you weren’t warned.
By Dumi Gwebu