Laugh
Bedroom bloopers happen to everyone. Whether you hit your head, bite your tongue or make a weird noise, the best thing to do is not to ignore it, but to laugh about it. Sex is not always sexy and you should expect something, at some point, to go wrong. Treating it in this light-hearted way will show that you are confident and mature. Even if something doesn’t go wrong, throwing your partner the odd smile is reassuring and makes you both feel close.
Conquer a fear
If you want to be confident under the covers, you need to feel confident in yourself. Overcoming a fear is one of the easiest ways to boost your self-esteem. Choose something achievable and then work out a feasible way to reach your goal. Make sure you get people involved in your plan as this will make you stick to it. Ideally, the person you’re sleeping with is the best person you can choose to get involved in your challenge.
Stop having sex
If you stop making sex the main goal you might start to think about your naked body differently. Try to do more things naked, so that you and, if you have a guy or girl in your life, they will get used to seeing your naked body. Normalising nakedness will make you feel comfortable when you strip off. You could shower together, have a naked massage or even eat your dinners naked. Just remember to shut those curtains!
Props
Props make sex fun and if you choose the right ones they can make you feel great in the bedroom. A naughty costume, some devious make-up or a blindfold can add a spice of sauciness to your love life and it will also give you a new persona. If you go in as Fireman Sam or Police Officer Polly, think of them as a confident, sex god/goddess. Use the act once or twice then switch back to being yourself - remember that you were that person all along.
Sharing is caring
Men and women feel insecure and at some point it’s likely that both you and your partner have felt uneasy when the lights go out. Bring up what has been troubling you when you are both alone, in a private place. Let each other speak. If your partner doesn’t seem to know what to say, don’t take this as a sign they don’t care, ask them what they think or feel about the situation. Try to come up with a solution or a plan together – something you both feel comfortable with.
Do the maths
We’re all insecure about some part of our body and most of the biggest hang-ups are to do with guy’s penises and women’s chests. Remember, though, the average size of a flaccid penis is between 2.5 inches and 5.5 inches, whilst the average bra size for women is between a C and a D cup. If you’re still not happy, for guys trim your hair downstairs; it will make you seem bigger. Girls, do chest exercises to improve the firmness, lift and shape of your breasts.
Switch focus
If you start to get nervous, or if you can’t stop thinking about how big your tummy must look from this angle, switch the focus. If you’re just kissing, don’t think about what will come next. Just concentrate on the thing you’re doing and try to enjoy it. If you’re having sex and the insecurities or nerves arise, don’t panic. Look your partner in the eye and concentrate on how good everything feels. Also think: if you’ve got to this stage then they must fancy you.
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